All the little things........

I guess I'm not the only one who is absolutely flabbergastered (hehehe - what a fun word to use!) that the end of 2012 is just around the corner.  Does anyone else feel that life seems to have 'seasons'?  Some season's are full of happiness and joy; some are more sorrowful; some are exausting......
For me - 2012 has been quite a year, a season of struggle.  Much of the year has felt like I'm trying to walk uphill in soft sand - its been bloody hard work!  I'm not just talking about weight-loss here - although at times that has been hard work too, but everything.  Because this year has been so challenging, there have been many times when I have felt absolutely overwhelmed, powerless, and like I can't keep on fighting.  It's so hard to see what's working when the things that aren't working quite right are yelling so loudly!

I know we all have these times in our life, and because, for me remembering the good, the beauty, the joy that still exists in my life - takes conscious effort at the moment - I thought I would use this post to list those things that keep making it worth getting out of bed each day.

- My six children
- My country and my town where I can live safely and peacefully
- My health
- My bed, with clean sheets on it
- Family
- Family get-together's with piles of kids running around and piles of laughs
- My work colleagues, who are more like dear friends
- Roses
- Sweet Peas
- My growing muscles
- That even though we are at the bottom of a financial canyon - my children have always been fed, and not gone to bed hungry
- That I still have hope that things can be different; that I want to be in the position where I can do random acts of kindness for others like they have for me
- The breeze off our lake
- Small country towns like ours
- That I am realising that I am much stronger than I ever knew
- That my 16 year old has grown and matured so much since the events earlier in the year that led him to leave home
- That my children are well cared for and taught in their schools
- That I've been able to work outside the home for the first time in 16 years
- The generosity of whoever has given me a subscription to Oxygen magazine
- Pantry Club - even though I am still working through the shame I feel in needing to access a service like this - I am so thankful, they are there
- Running the City to Bay for the first time
- New friends made this year
- Old friends who love me with all their hearts and have helped me time and again to hold my heart together
- The pride I feel in my new body
- The inspiration I feel for what is still possible in my body and with my fitness and strength
- My daughter's rabbit - personality plus!
- The uninhibited giggling, dancing and singing of my youngest children - so refreshing
- The untapped potential each of my children hold inside
- The written word of others - life-changing
- Mish and the whole 12wbt team
- A hot cup of tea in my favourite cup
-The way I feel when I look at interior design magazines
- The satisfaction that comes after smashing out an awesome workout
- When my heart-rate monitor watch sings me a little song and gives me a little trophy when I've met its training targets
-Heck, I'm even glad for the struggle, because even though it hurts, and the tears aren't over yet - I know it makes me grow, and become a better, stronger, more resilient me

I hope that your year has left with you - not just memories of the struggles but full of memories of the things that have made you smile, made you cry with joy, taken your breath away and made you glad you're alive.  Love to you all xxoo

Daring to dream....

 

I've spent so many years of my life pushing aside any thoughts I may have had of a better life; a happier life; a more prosperous life; a more successful life.  Would I ever tell anyone about my innermost, most cherished desires?  Hell no!  Because, I didn't believe I deserved more than what I had.  People like me can't want things.....because they will only be disappointed, or chastised for being ungrateful.  I've started to realise all that, was a lie. 

I dreamt of being thinner - but never thought it would happen - but with 12wbt and the support of friends and family and a lot of damned hard work, I made it happen.  The realisation of that dream, has given rise to new dreams.  Being fitter, being a runner, having muscle definition.  I love that, the success of something gives you the courage to dare to want for more.  And the motivation to do what it takes to get there.  I am a runner.  I can run a half marathon.  I am gaining some muscle.

So where to now?  Wherever the heck I want, I reckon!  Why not?!  Why not dream big and high and far and wide?  What's the worse that can happen, if I don't realise all my dreams?  I'll have had the adventure of trying.  I'll have had the opportunity to grow from my failures and be stronger for next time.  I'll be more of myself.

I dream to run the City to Bay in under 1 hour
I dream to run be the fastest 38 year old female running the City to Bay in 2013
I dream to be able to do chin-ups
I dream to create a career for myself that makes me excited
I dream to help someone else on their journey, so that they too can feel that the world is one of possibility
I dream of travelling to Europe
I dream of having a reliable car, made this century
I dream of having the finances to fix the leaky roof on my house
I dream of being able to pay for my childrens private school fees myself - without having to be subsidised
I dream of having the most rocking body I can possibly have as a 38 year old
I dream of writing a bestselling book
I dream of having the choice to make or buy gifts for my family at Christmas time, and choosing to make them anyway

My dreams are growing all the time........