Dear Junk Food......You're just not meeting my needs anymore

Dear Junk Food,

I need to have a real serious conversation with you.  I'm going to get straight to the point.......you're just not meeting my needs anymore.

For a long time - too long, we were pretty close.  I know the relationship was working well for you - You took my money, you had me craving you, you made me feel sick, you even had me believing that I couldn't get by without you.  You were in total control of our relationship.  Now, everybody knows that if one person in a relationship holds all the power.....that is an unhealthy relationship.  Its taken me a while to realise how much control you've had over me.  But, as you know, these past couple of years have been rocky for us.  I've been fighting back, demanding more from you.  And you know what - you haven't delivered.  I've got my sights set on bigger things these days.  A lean, toned body, instead of a soft squishy one.  Good health and vitality, instead of aching joints and heartburn and lethargy.  And I'm sorry, but you just don't cut it anymore!  Healthy, life-giving food is what fits the bill nowadays. 

And do you know what else?  I don't actually need you.  I can live without you.  And I'm freaking tired of you being in control!  So enoughs, enough.  I'm taking charge.  I want more than you can give.  I deserve more than you can give.  Now, I know that you are very conniving and manipulative, and this probably won't be the last I see of you, but, although you may win a fight from time to time, I am going to win the war!

When we see each other - I will nod politely in your direction, but I won't be inviting you home anymore.  You can watch in awe at the things I am going to do, now that I am free of you.

Sincerely,

Carissa

All the little things........

I guess I'm not the only one who is absolutely flabbergastered (hehehe - what a fun word to use!) that the end of 2012 is just around the corner.  Does anyone else feel that life seems to have 'seasons'?  Some season's are full of happiness and joy; some are more sorrowful; some are exausting......
For me - 2012 has been quite a year, a season of struggle.  Much of the year has felt like I'm trying to walk uphill in soft sand - its been bloody hard work!  I'm not just talking about weight-loss here - although at times that has been hard work too, but everything.  Because this year has been so challenging, there have been many times when I have felt absolutely overwhelmed, powerless, and like I can't keep on fighting.  It's so hard to see what's working when the things that aren't working quite right are yelling so loudly!

I know we all have these times in our life, and because, for me remembering the good, the beauty, the joy that still exists in my life - takes conscious effort at the moment - I thought I would use this post to list those things that keep making it worth getting out of bed each day.

- My six children
- My country and my town where I can live safely and peacefully
- My health
- My bed, with clean sheets on it
- Family
- Family get-together's with piles of kids running around and piles of laughs
- My work colleagues, who are more like dear friends
- Roses
- Sweet Peas
- My growing muscles
- That even though we are at the bottom of a financial canyon - my children have always been fed, and not gone to bed hungry
- That I still have hope that things can be different; that I want to be in the position where I can do random acts of kindness for others like they have for me
- The breeze off our lake
- Small country towns like ours
- That I am realising that I am much stronger than I ever knew
- That my 16 year old has grown and matured so much since the events earlier in the year that led him to leave home
- That my children are well cared for and taught in their schools
- That I've been able to work outside the home for the first time in 16 years
- The generosity of whoever has given me a subscription to Oxygen magazine
- Pantry Club - even though I am still working through the shame I feel in needing to access a service like this - I am so thankful, they are there
- Running the City to Bay for the first time
- New friends made this year
- Old friends who love me with all their hearts and have helped me time and again to hold my heart together
- The pride I feel in my new body
- The inspiration I feel for what is still possible in my body and with my fitness and strength
- My daughter's rabbit - personality plus!
- The uninhibited giggling, dancing and singing of my youngest children - so refreshing
- The untapped potential each of my children hold inside
- The written word of others - life-changing
- Mish and the whole 12wbt team
- A hot cup of tea in my favourite cup
-The way I feel when I look at interior design magazines
- The satisfaction that comes after smashing out an awesome workout
- When my heart-rate monitor watch sings me a little song and gives me a little trophy when I've met its training targets
-Heck, I'm even glad for the struggle, because even though it hurts, and the tears aren't over yet - I know it makes me grow, and become a better, stronger, more resilient me

I hope that your year has left with you - not just memories of the struggles but full of memories of the things that have made you smile, made you cry with joy, taken your breath away and made you glad you're alive.  Love to you all xxoo

Daring to dream....

 

I've spent so many years of my life pushing aside any thoughts I may have had of a better life; a happier life; a more prosperous life; a more successful life.  Would I ever tell anyone about my innermost, most cherished desires?  Hell no!  Because, I didn't believe I deserved more than what I had.  People like me can't want things.....because they will only be disappointed, or chastised for being ungrateful.  I've started to realise all that, was a lie. 

I dreamt of being thinner - but never thought it would happen - but with 12wbt and the support of friends and family and a lot of damned hard work, I made it happen.  The realisation of that dream, has given rise to new dreams.  Being fitter, being a runner, having muscle definition.  I love that, the success of something gives you the courage to dare to want for more.  And the motivation to do what it takes to get there.  I am a runner.  I can run a half marathon.  I am gaining some muscle.

So where to now?  Wherever the heck I want, I reckon!  Why not?!  Why not dream big and high and far and wide?  What's the worse that can happen, if I don't realise all my dreams?  I'll have had the adventure of trying.  I'll have had the opportunity to grow from my failures and be stronger for next time.  I'll be more of myself.

I dream to run the City to Bay in under 1 hour
I dream to run be the fastest 38 year old female running the City to Bay in 2013
I dream to be able to do chin-ups
I dream to create a career for myself that makes me excited
I dream to help someone else on their journey, so that they too can feel that the world is one of possibility
I dream of travelling to Europe
I dream of having a reliable car, made this century
I dream of having the finances to fix the leaky roof on my house
I dream of being able to pay for my childrens private school fees myself - without having to be subsidised
I dream of having the most rocking body I can possibly have as a 38 year old
I dream of writing a bestselling book
I dream of having the choice to make or buy gifts for my family at Christmas time, and choosing to make them anyway

My dreams are growing all the time........
 

Seven Ways to Stop Craving Junk Food

I am pretty excited to be writing this at the end of a very successful Week 1 of Round 4, 12WBT.  Five red flag days, this week - and my nutrition plan is still intact - very happy with that!

I wanted to share something I read this week - from the American version of Women's Health magazine.  I'm going to be re-reading this again, and again and again - you'll understand why, when you read the title......7 Ways to Stop Craving Junk Food.  I don't know about you, but even though it usually makes me feel sick these days, I still crave it, especially the sweet stuff, and sometimes the cravings get the better of me. 

Number One: Reinforce your Resolve:  One reason most diets fail is that long-term goals can be deceptively difficult: When the plan is to watch what you eat for the next six months, chugging one caramel latte with whipped cream seems like a minor slip (been here before!) To avoid that kind of thinking, commit to eating well for a fixed amount of time that you're 100 percent confident you can manage, even if it's just a few days.

Once you make it to your goal date, start over. This establishes the notion that you can be successful and gives you a chance to notice that eating better makes you feel better, reinforcing your desire to continue.

Number Two:  Find meaningful motivation
If the main purpose of your diet is cosmetic--i.e., to look amazing in boy shorts--you're unlikely to stick with it for the long haul.

The solution: Arm yourself with additional motivators.  Keep a daily journal in which you monitor migraines, heartburn, acne, canker sores, and sleep quality in addition to body measurements and the number on the scale.

Discovering that your new diet improves the quality of your life and health is powerful motivation.

Number Three:  Move on after a mistake
OK, you overindulged. What's the next step? Forget about it. One meal doesn't define your diet, so don't assume that you've failed or fallen off the wagon.

Institute a simple rule: Follow any "cheat" meal with at least five healthy meals and snacks. That ensures that you'll be eating right more than 80 percent of the time. (I LOVE this idea.)

 

Number Four: Roll out of bed and into the kitchen

Sure, you've heard this advice before. But consider that if you sleep for six to eight hours and then skip breakfast, your body is essentially running on fumes by the time you get to work. And that sends you desperately seeking sugar, which is usually pretty easy to find.

The most convenient foods are typically packed with sugar (doughnuts, lattes) or other quickly digested carbohydrates (McMuffins, cinnamon buns). Which brings us to our next strategy.

 

Number Five:  Restock your shelves (I know we've all just done this one - but a little reminder now and then never hurt anyone.)

How many times have you driven to the store in the middle of the night to satisfy a craving? Probably not nearly as often as you've raided the fridge. You're more likely to give in to a craving when the object you desire is close at hand. So make sure it's not: Toss the junk food and restock your cupboard and fridge with almonds and other nuts, cheese, fruit and vegetables, and canned tuna, chicken, and salmon. And do the same at work.

By eliminating snacks that don't match your diet and providing plenty that do, you're far less likely to find yourself at the doughnut-shop drive-thru or the vending machine.

 

Number Six:  Think like a biochemist

Cookies made with organic cane juice might sound like something your yoga teacher would eat, but they won't help her fit into her Lycra pants. Junk food by any other name is still junk. Ditto for lots of "health foods" in the granola aisle. "Natural" sweeteners like honey raise blood sugar just like the white stuff.

If you're going to eat cookies, accept that you're deviating from your plan, and then revert to your diet afterward. Kidding yourself will only get you into trouble.

 

Number Seven:  Spot hunger impostors

Have a craving for sweets even though you ate just an hour ago? Imagine sitting down to a large, sizzling steak instead. If you're truly hungry, the steak will sound good, and you should eatIf it doesn't sound good, your brain is playing tricks on you.
Change your environment, which can be as easy as stretching at your desk or turning your attention to a different task.

 

Now I really liked these.  Even though most seem like common sense, I'll take any extra strategies I can that will help get me closer to my health and fitness goals!

 

 

Have a great week two :)

 

 

 

Excuses, excuses, excuses

It is just a little bit exciting to be a part of the first Round 4 of 12WBT!  And a little bit exciting to be taking the Lean and Strong journey this round - after all I've seen the after photos of others, who've had babies, and then found where their abs have been hiding all this time - so I figure there's hope for me yet!

What is it about Task 1 - Get Real, No More Excuses, that makes it so hard?  Well - I find it hard anyway.  In actual fact - its only the Internal Excuses that are a problem.  Hello!   If that is not a great big signpost to a big fat road block, I don't know what is!   External excuses - I feel like I've worked them through - but I'll still be on the lookout, in case they sneak back in.  But unravelling all that internal dialogue.......now that is a whole different ball game.

Here's what I've got so far.....

I can't ever reach my goal weight (seriously?  Its about 3kg away!) Solution: Other people my height weigh my goal weight and with training, good nutrition and patience I will too.
I can't control myself with food (really - now I have four legs, a snout and a curly tail?!) Solution:
I have my hands on the steering wheel and if I am feeling weak, I will take a walk, get on the forums or find another way to keep my hands busy.

It's too hard to achieve the results I want.  Solution: Yes, it is hard work, but I am strong, and I have achieved other things I never thought were possible, so I will keep focussed on my goals, by reading them daily, and repeating my affirmations.

I haven't got time.  Solution: I will prioritise and plan my exercise to make sure it gets done.  We make time for the things that matter to us.
I'm sick of fighting with myself.  Solution:  I don't have to engage with the fight in my head - I can notice the things I am telling myself, and get on with the things I want to do anyway.  There is only a fight if I let there be one.

I just don't care right now.  Solution:  I need to walk/run away as soon as I hear this one in my head - because, the reality is - I DO CARE.  I recognise, that eating has been a coping mechanism that I've used, but now, I choose other ways to cope eg. exercise, reading, talking to friends, writing down what I'm feeling.

Here's hoping you all are having success in unravelling your own excuses - the battle is won and lost in our heads!

Don't you just love it when you learn something new? And it works.  So, perhaps what I've learnt is no new thing to many, no huge thing to others, but for me - it really fits well. 

After that ever so dramatic first paragraph, I know you are chomping at the bit for me to reveal ;)

Affirmations!

Affirmation:  1)The act of affirming or the state of being affirmed; assertion.
                       2) Something declared to be true; a positive statement or judgement

Now - who doesn't need more of that in their lives?!  Affirmations aren't a completely foreign concept to me, and from what I can see - they are certainly something that the most successful people in the world use.  If that doesn't sell the idea to you, I don't know what will!  I love Jillian Michaels book, Unlimited and she is certainly a big believer in positive self-affirmations.  She has two rules for constructing your affirmations the right way.

1. Focus on only positive words and phrases.  Focus on coming from a place of abundance, as you do when you are praying for something or trying to create a different outcome.  Use positive words.  if you use negative words, your subconscious mind will hear and place the focus on them.
2. Also be sure to use the present, not the future, tense.  Saying 'Iwill be' this or 'I will accomplish' that places your ideal reality in an indefinite future.  Instead, tell yourself that you are this or are accomplishing that now.  Sure, there's a little self-trickery involved, but that's the point.  The goal is to get your subvonscious mind to adapt and accept your affirmations as reality, so that they can become reality.
Here's one of her examples:
Don't say: 'I will not get tired or sick during my workout today' All your brain hears is tired, sick, and workout, so that is the reality you will create:  a workout that makes you tired and sick.
Do say: 'I am strong and healthy, with the energy I need to get through my workout.'  This statement, using self-assured, positive language, exudes confidence that will create the outcome you desire: a strong workout that delivers results and makes you feel great.

I reckon this all ties in with my last blog post and empowering beliefs.  So here's a couple I'm using at the moment:

I am in control of what I put in my body.
My body responds in positive ways to the gift of fitness and nutrition that I give it each day.
I am stronger than I know and I make my dreams become reality.
I have plenty of money and the security I want and deserve.

For me - these add a feeling of being in control - like Mish says - being in the driver's seat with both hands firmly on the steering wheel.  A sense of security comes as a result of that.

If you overhear someone muttering 'I am in control of what I put in my body' as they pass the confectionery aisle in the supermarket, say Hi - its probably me!

Always learning and peeling back the layers

A real focus for me, as you may already know, is to uncover the truth about my own weight gain, and why I've turned to food for comfort so readily in the past.  Ok, I'll admit it - it still happens sometimes.  Changing a pattern that's been firmly entrenched for about 20 years is H-A-R-D to break.
So last week, when I saw an article in Oxygen Magazine (first time I've ever bought this - the physiques of the women on the front always scares me!) titled 'You are what you think'.  I was intrigued.  It was part 2 of the article, part 1 being in the previous issue, and it really got me thinking and inspired this post.

The author comments that achieving and maintaining weight los can be simple - count me in! She also says, that it can be realistic to believe that you can maintain a slim body fairly easily but first, we have to look to our minds and to what we believe, as this is where success or failure begins.  So, I obviously can't put the whole article in here, but I'll try and give you the main points. 

Step 1:  Discover your beliefs.  She gives three questions to answer to help in your discovery, which you should not think about, just grab a pen and paper and answer with whatever comes, write until there is nothing else to write.  I haven't done these yet and though it might be fun or frightening - we'll have to wait and see, if I did my answers here.  So here goes....

What I believe about weight loss is....
I can't maintain it
I'm always going to be fighting with my body
I'm never going to be able to relax or I'll straight away gain weight
I can't trust myself around food
It's only a matter of time before the weight comes back
I shouldn't get used to looking and feeling like this, because it won't last
My body just loves to store fat
Some people don't even have to think about their weight, I can't stop thinking about mine
It's exhausting

What I believe about maintaining my ideal body weight is.....
I'm not sure that I can
If I'm not 100% focussed on training and calories all of the time, I'll gain my weight back
It never gets easy
It will always be hard work
One little slip up and the scales go up 1.5kg
I don't even know what my ideal body weight is, or what it should be
I don't know how to work it out
I don't know how to keep my training going so that my body has to keep guessing
Its a constant struggle
It feels like it will always be a constant struggle, and I don't think I can carry that around for the rest of my life

What I believe about eating healthily is....
It makes me feel better in my body and about myself
I like healthy food, but sugar and chocolate still undo me
I can only eat healthy for a short time and then I can't help but binge on chocolate
I can't make the changes I want to make permanent ones
I can't manage my nutrition well enough to get the results I want

Step 2: Acknowledge the limiting beliefs - look over your beliefs, because once you are aware of them you have the power to change them into beliefs that empower you.

Source the limiting belief:  It can be very helpful to remember the source of where the belief began.  Past memories become part of your belief systems now and are now limiting you.

Step 3:  Create a new empowering belief - write down the opposite to the limiting beliefs.  Create positive beliefs that support your weight loss goals.  Affirm these new beliefs to yourself each time you are exercising/eating/working throughout the day.  Eventually it becomes your natural way of thinking.

Step 4:  Visualise the outcome of your new belief - write down the answers to the following questions:
What does (insert new belief) look like?  (What will you see visually in your life that will let you know you have achieved this new belief?)
What does (insert new belief) feel like?
What will be my self-talk when I (insert new belief) and what will others be saying to me?

Wow - answering those questions taps into a whole world of negativity and 'I can'ts'.  I really found this very powerful - and as we can all see from my answers in step 1, I have a bit of work to do!  I know there's not some magic end point.  I know, even if I weigh my ideal weight - that's not the end of the road.  Its just a fuel stop in the longer journey.  There will always be more to learn, more layers to peel back, new ways to grow and change - and for every little thing that finds its way onto my path, that helps peel off another layer I am grateful.  Like Mish says "Losing weight is science, keeping it off is psychology"

 

"If you struggle to lose weight....

there will be a limiting belief in your subconscious brain."  Tamika Hilder - Think Your Body Slim Coach